Stop saying goodbye...
I need to look up concerts that are happening. Tye said something about going to see Snow Patrol in September in Chicago, and John Mayer is with Sheryl Crow (with Mat Kearney opening!) also in September in Detroit...now all I need is money.
Florida bombed. A bit annoying but I'll live, and now I have a much better idea about how I need to prepare for Passport Friday's events and whatnot. But since it only lasted less than a week, now I'm negative money instead of the expected surplus, and I still need to get away.
Friday's still sucks and I hate it. I hate how they don't worry about any of the things that they should be, that they do worry about stupid shit that doesn't matter, and that everything is drama.
I'm trying to remain neutrally uncaring about Andy. I make all kinds of comments like I'm not neutral, but in all honesty I'm fighting those chemical reactions (referred to as "emotions") sometimes. In order to stay neutral. Because it's not good to like him. I don't want to like him; I hate getting burned. Not burned...I hate letting myself feel for someone (especially when I shouldn't feel) and then expectedly getting disappointed. I hate feeling disappointed. Even when I know it's coming. Girlfriends...ugh. Wanting a boy with a girlfriend...ugh. Not even knowing why I want said boy...what the heck?
I've had a horrible sick feeling in my stomach for two days. I've got to stop holding onto people. The people from my past that I just need to let go of in my head and my heart...I've just got to let go of them. I'm holding them in, and needing them still, and then something happens that shows me they don't need/want me anymore, and it makes me sad. Because I never see it coming. I'm not sure how to react to this realization. I might just begin separating myself from the people that I'm fairly sure don't want me around anymore, and then it will be mutual drifting. I don't know. It's an idea that I've just recently had and I haven't given it proper thought. I probably never will, but now that I have been made conscious of it, I'll better know how to react to later situations.
Andrea and I have found two places we like, and Cassidy is down with whatever. I really like this place on Lafeyette that Andrea and I looked at yesterday, so hopefully that will work out for us. There was a place on Portsmouth that I looked like, but the landlord said that a couple of other guys who were looking at it just before me seemed pretty serious about it, so we're not getting our hopes up.
That's all I've got.
Florida bombed. A bit annoying but I'll live, and now I have a much better idea about how I need to prepare for Passport Friday's events and whatnot. But since it only lasted less than a week, now I'm negative money instead of the expected surplus, and I still need to get away.
Friday's still sucks and I hate it. I hate how they don't worry about any of the things that they should be, that they do worry about stupid shit that doesn't matter, and that everything is drama.
I'm trying to remain neutrally uncaring about Andy. I make all kinds of comments like I'm not neutral, but in all honesty I'm fighting those chemical reactions (referred to as "emotions") sometimes. In order to stay neutral. Because it's not good to like him. I don't want to like him; I hate getting burned. Not burned...I hate letting myself feel for someone (especially when I shouldn't feel) and then expectedly getting disappointed. I hate feeling disappointed. Even when I know it's coming. Girlfriends...ugh. Wanting a boy with a girlfriend...ugh. Not even knowing why I want said boy...what the heck?
I've had a horrible sick feeling in my stomach for two days. I've got to stop holding onto people. The people from my past that I just need to let go of in my head and my heart...I've just got to let go of them. I'm holding them in, and needing them still, and then something happens that shows me they don't need/want me anymore, and it makes me sad. Because I never see it coming. I'm not sure how to react to this realization. I might just begin separating myself from the people that I'm fairly sure don't want me around anymore, and then it will be mutual drifting. I don't know. It's an idea that I've just recently had and I haven't given it proper thought. I probably never will, but now that I have been made conscious of it, I'll better know how to react to later situations.
Andrea and I have found two places we like, and Cassidy is down with whatever. I really like this place on Lafeyette that Andrea and I looked at yesterday, so hopefully that will work out for us. There was a place on Portsmouth that I looked like, but the landlord said that a couple of other guys who were looking at it just before me seemed pretty serious about it, so we're not getting our hopes up.
That's all I've got.
posted by Alesheia @ 11:32 PM
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