Where do we go from here?

Let's rewind about a month and a half, to the middle of August. Geoff was housesitting for the guy his mom works with and I spent a bit of time over there. Anyway, one night I worked late and was planning on going over there so I gave Andy a ride home from work, and when he got out of the car I gave him a copy of the CD that I made for him a couple weeks before that. Which I don't think he ever listened to, and that's fine. It's 90% not serious anyway, makes it seem like I have much stronger "I want you" feelings than I ever have had for him; it's just a really good mix. Whatever. Fast forward about 2-3 weeks, and I was giving him a ride home another night and we were talking about life. And he was talking about not being sure about going back to school, or doing the restaurant management thing, etc. As a side note, I had been made previously aware that Andy is reasonably religous. So as he's talking to me about all of this, I was thinking about my Life Soundtrack that I had just made, and was thinking that he could really relate to the last song on it - Mat Kearney's "Where Do We Go From Here?". When Andy got out of the car, I gave him a copy of my Life Soundtrack and told him to listen to that song because I thought that it was something he could relate to. He didn't listen to it. I asked him a week or so later if he had, and he said no. I wasn't surprised, but I still thought it was something he would be able to dig on. When I put that song on my L.S., I chose it for a couple of reasons. I've been thinking about God, and religion, and faith-based belief in something, and that song was kind of my way of agreeing with Kearney's conversation with God, but from my perspective First, I'm saying that I don't really have much of a relationship with God, and by me saying "Where we gonna go from here?" I'm saying, "What am I supposed to do now?" Do I try out the religion thing or keep doing what I'm doing? Second, I meant it in terms of just me. It's my song to me. Where do I go from here? Religion aside, what am I doing here, and where do I need to go to keep...going. Did I mean it towards Andy when I put it on there? I don't feel like I did. Could it be taken that way if I didn't explain things entirely? Yes. If I put that song on my L.S. to mean anything about how I felt about him, it was not at all literal, and whatever I felt was nothing strength-wise compared to what the song would imply if you were to take it that way. Anyway, today he texts me and asks what track number he was supposed to listen to. I text him back a couple of hours later that it's the last one on my Life Soundtrack, and he immediately calls me and asks if it's "Amy Appropriate". Yes, I say. Why do you ask? I know exactly why he asked, but seriously...so I tell him to let me know what he thinks of it after he listens to it. Fast forward to 9:15pm and Andy calls me and I ask what he thought of it, and this is how the conversations pretty much goes from there:
"What did you think of the song?"
"It was good, but uhh...I think we need to make sure we're on the same page."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I think you like me, and I just think we need to make sure we're both thinking the same thing and that neither of us has the wrong idea here. I'm in a relationship with a girl that I'm in love with."
"Uh huh; I'm aware of that."
"I was listening to some of the lyrics of that song, and I just thought that needed to be said."

So I go on to explain that song being on my L.S. had nothing to do with him. And then I explained why I gave him the CD to listen to in the first place, because I felt like apparently he didn't remember the context of me giving him that particular CD. "All right" he says. I think he believed me. Hopefully. Then I told him that I definitely think he's a great person but that I know he's in a relationship. And that he's one of the few people I can see myself still talking to when I'm not here anymore. At some point shortly after this the conversation turned into when we work next.

How incredibly uncomfortable. Get weird about the other CD that I made you. Yes, that one was only 7-10% serious, but every single song on there could have been taken as "I want you a lot." Why are you taking a song that I suggested as a personal preference and turning it into something it's not? Why didn't you have this conversation with me 6 weeks ago when I needed the shove away from you? I've been doing well creeping away from wanting you, and I'm enjoying being your friend. But now I'm doing it at my own pace because you never did anything to steer me away before. You're not supposed to make my heart hurt; we're past that now, I thought. You said I wasn't that type of girl. I'm not here to try and steal you from your girlfriend. I don't want what you want. I might not be in Grand Rapids in a year; I'm not trying to ruin your relationship for something that I have very little desire for. I want you to be my friend now. I feel like if I wanted to be "like every other restaurant girl", which you said I wasn't, then I could have tried harder and made that happen for me awhile ago; I thought I'd made it pretty clear that's not what I was going for. What part(s) of that song did you think I meant for you? That fucking last verse, I'll bet. I've waited and I'll wait some more/Won't see me knocking on another door/But all this is crazy and amazing/There's only one half of us that I'm saving/So I'm praying just to let it go/Watch from a distance just to see you glow/Seven hundred places seven hundred faces more. I don't wait for people. I especially don't wait for people when I'm the one who's leaving. I wish I could feel that strongly for someone, but I'm glad it's not you becaue that would be bad for both of us.

It's going to be weird now.