So here I am, still.

Medically, my butt is getting beaten in. What started as silly numbness has progressed into headaches, disorientation, general gout. I went to the doctor, he put me on antidepressants and steriods and gave me a shot that nearly killed my arm. Then a week later, I was told by the same dude that I needed an MRI. So I got that, and now I'm waiting for the word.

I have created a 100-point scale to rate my feelings on the topic. 89 of them are covered by 'annoyance', 6 by 'fright', 2 by 'anxiousness', and 3 are...a compound of 'blah', 'confusion', etc. (That is how I described it to Jeff, almost word for word, except I re-evaluated and have some new point values.) I am trying not to worry about this being anything serious, but with the doctor making such a big deal out of tests and stuff, I am letting myself get scared. However, annoyance is the big one. I have too many other things to think about and do, and I don't need this business, also.

Ugh, I am too tired to think about this, I hate medicine. I hate doctors. I hate being a sissy, I shouldn't have ever said anything about any of this to anyone.